Deliberate

Miss me?  Notice I wasn’t around last week?  If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that I was in beautiful WARM Florida drinking up some much needed sun and a bit of relaxation.  I say a bit because our first day of vacation was spend at Urgent Care and pharmacies where my 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with pneumonia.  Sigh.

Florida Vacation
Florida Vacation

 But we actually think that the warm moist air really helped her cough a lot…and heck…we were all happier there anyways, so why not I guess.

Florida Vacation
Florida Vacation

We returned to bitter cold reality, literally landing in a snow storm with White Out conditions on the road.  What a welcome home!

But what I really wanted to share with you today is not the simple pleasures from last week, but rather my word for the whole year.  Each year I try to choose a word that reflects what I want to achieve or how I want to think or feel. I think I’ve shared those words with you all the past few years.  It is my way of thinking about the year in the new light rather than making resolutions for myself.  I’m one of those people who doesn’t wait to change with the new year in terms of resolutions.  If I see a need for change then I act on it then.  But a word for the year…that’s different somehow.  I like to have a year reflect a certain tone.  Then there are no feelings of failure if and when I inevitably fail at a particular resolution (like exercise more or keep a better temper or go to bed earlier…).

So all that talk…but what is the word you say?

DELIBERATE

One word.  But one big idea.

My goal for this year is to really take charge of my choices.  And not let myself be overwhelmed by them and say “yes” to everything.  It overwhelms me to know all the possibilities before me in all aspects of my life.  So I need to be more deliberate in the choices I make.  I do not want to be a victim of my choices but rather delight in them, knowing that each one was made with careful thought and consideration to all the other choices I’m making.

For me, it is an exercise often in restraint.  I need to be free to say “no”.  That’s hard for me.  HARD.  I’m a people pleaser and a perfectionist.  I want to do things a very particular way…and it takes its toll.  So I need to learn limits and I need to be focused.  All of which could have been great words of the year.  But what spoke to me most was DELIBERATE.

It’s an ACTION.  It is not passive.  It’s about being in control but not controlling or controlled.  It helps me sift through my options for how to spend my time, money, creativity and friendship and be peaceful with my decisions.  It doesn’t mean decisions are not hard, but I am not being railroaded by life.

“When you’re living deliberately, you’re living from a position of responsibility; you’re making choices with greater awareness. You’re taken yourself off autopilot, so you’re better prepared to align your actions with the results you want to achieve.” 
– Lauren Mackler from her book Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life 
See more at: http://www.thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/10-benefits-living-deliberately/#sthash.v35hSLaH.dpuf

Deliberate.  Think about it.  Perhaps it is the right word for you as well.  Or maybe something else entirely speaks to you.  One year my word was JOY.  What is your word?

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6 thoughts on “Deliberate

  1. I saw on IG that you were at Sanibel! We were on Ft Myers Beach for the week. And also, on the plane ride down, my almost 2 year old became really sick and daycare said the cough turns into a fever. I was panicked. BUT we were luckier than you and did not need to visit the Dr. The sunshine and warmth helped us as well! Anyway, hope you had a great vacation after getting the family healthy!

  2. Yes, yes yes!! I know you will have a wonderful year. It IS so very very hard to say no, and feel ok with it. But once that line is drawn, people do learn to understand that having deliberation makes everything else so much for calm and ordered, and enables you to look up and out and see life as it happens. Yay! XX!

  3. Sanibel…my favorite place on earth. If I could live there year around I would in a heart beat. Me and mine are heading there in four weeks for a bit of shelling, shopping and dining out at the Island Cow and Jerry's. I always have great luck when I'm there.

  4. Hope everyone is feeling 100% ASAP.

    As for the word, yes, that's describing exactly what I'm trying to do this year, not just automatically say 'yes' to everything, but think through the consequences and see if it's the right thing for me, physically and mentally. After the breakdown I had last November, I never want to be in that place again, so contemplating my options rather than a Pavlovian response is the way forward this year.

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