This is 37

Today I’ve reached a new number.  I have now lived 37 years.  To some of you that means I’m just a baby…to others, I know…you can’t imagine how you will get to be that age.  But to me, THIS is 37.

37 means being married to a wonderful man for nearly 14 years.  I’m slowly creeping up on spending more of my life with him than without him.  It means that we at this point we can support each other pretty darn well (or we can freely say when we are not supporting well lol).  But we are still both growing as people and our needs change.  So there is still much to do and we may struggle a bit to keep the fun going amidst the crazy yet constant life.

37 means I have a beautiful daughter who is my miracle and always will be.  She is fiercely independent and strong.  And SO quick to love with the sweetest heart.  I have so many more hugs a day than I ever expected.  I know they say to enjoy them while they are little…but I just enjoy her all the more as she grows, a grand 6 1/2 herself now, and I get to learn who SHE is.  I delight in her.  She definitely takes the energy of two parents to raise her, but I know she is going to be a person worth knowing…she already is.

37  means still struggling with health issues and even learning you have new ones.  It means daily pain, diet changes, ridiculously painful treatments, and the never ending hope that it will all help you sleep well one night. lol It means being surprised when a new medical challenge pops up but a determination that you can do something about it.  After all…you’re only 37 right?

37 means hitting new highs in a career that seems to have its own mysterious path that you try to bravely follow.  Fear is there but you won’t let it stop you from trying anything that you feel drawn to.  Insecurity will now longer stop me, but it still gives a good mental shake.  I look forward to losing that insecurity…I hear it comes with age! So there are fabric lines, thread lines, patterns, websites, industry events, sponsored opportunities, teaching and traveling…all available if I choose to pursue them…but there is all that health and family (see above) that come first.

37 means (and how did He come so far down the list?) that I am confident in my relationship with God.  I could talk with Him more.  But I do that daily and for other people a lot.  I think we need a long conversation though.  I crave that now and I’m not concerned with who know it.  He is the only reason I’ve made it through all the things that have happened in my life to date, the good and bad.  But I’m confident that I will have all of eternity to spend with Him and He is ever patient with me.

37 means that I’m getting closer to 40.  And someone better throw me a BIG party when I turn 40!  That is the number that is so interesting to me.  There is something magical about that number I know.  I look forward to finding out what I’ve figured out by then and what I am still struggling with.  What I will have accomplished and who my strongest friends are.

37 means finally understanding that friendships are flexible.  And I will probably always be the person who needs the friendship more.  I only have energy for so many and I’m realizing that it’s okay if those friends are my friends for THAT time.  That it would be silly to suggest that many people could understand and support me through all the peaks and valleys of my life.  Maybe one or two people can.  But others appear in special moments.  And rather than regretting if those friendships fade away as circumstances change, that I should be grateful for who they were to me when I needed them.  And hopefully who I was to THEM when they needed me.  It makes me more willing to embrace meeting new people if I don’t expect them to be everything to me.  But I do miss those school days when there were new friends around every corner.  Those corners are a little harder to find…but the friends seem wiser now too.

37 means I’ve traveled enough to know that I like to travel a certain way…and by that I mean that I’ll take a hotel over a sleeping bag any day.  But I still crave the beauty of nature.  So I need to make sure we start planning those epic outings to places like the grand canyon so I can finally see all that our country has to offer.  It also means that I accept that I’m not a great world traveler…or if I do, then I’m okay being the one in tasteful tourist group.  My sense of adventure is there but limited.  And I’m okay with saying that i have no desire to climb mount everest or go back packing through Europe or planning it all myself and seeing how I survive in native wherever.  I’m too picky an eater to survive people!

37 means that I am growing more confident in my likes and dislikes of books, movies and tv.  It’s okay if I don’t like certain actors, certain authors, certain genres.  I am never going to love history the way that other people do.  And I secretly would love to go comic con someday because that is more my scene I think.  Give me sci fi and fantasy any day over a historical drama. lol  Sorry Downton Abbey… it will always be Dr Who.

37 means that life is well on its way but there is plenty still on the horizon.  I am vulnerable but I am also a survivor.

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14 thoughts on “This is 37

  1. Happy Happy Birthday Angela and Happy New Year as your birthday is really the first day of your New Year!! I love how you have thought about all the different facets of being 37, I remember it well. Have a wonderful, blessed, joyful day !! ENJOY !!

  2. happy birthday!! I turned 38 in January, so I’m with you about almost being 40!! what really hit me, is that my husband is 46 and he’ll be almost 50!! I’ll be married to a 50 year old—– now THAT’s scary….. just kidding.
    and I’m a parent of a rising highschooler and a newborn is just crazy! (and two in between)

  3. Happy Birthday!! I will be 35 next week and I wasn’t worried or weirded out by it until I was talking to a youngster about driving and realized I have been driving nearly 20 years now!!! That’s crazy!

  4. Happy birthday – I am over twice your age and recognize much wisdom in your post. I agree that marriage takes growing together constantly, that knowing God is important, that illnesses beyond our control require faith and patience. I doubt that you need friendships more, but I believe that you are willing to be vulnerable and a little raw in the relationship because you can trust your friends, while some of your friends either can’t or won’t trust as easily. Hope the birthday is wonderful and that you can be as honest in your introspection in the future. Almost anything can be solved with a prayer and the strength of loved ones around you.

  5. Happy Birthday. I am closing in on 72. I have never bothered myself with my age, life happens. I find it amusing that I get more upset over my children’s age – when my oldest turned 30 it was a shock that I was the mother of a 30 year old! Just this past May he turned 49 – lord what will I do when I become the mother of a 50 y/o???? You should plan to repeat this post every 5 years or so and compare how they will change because change they will as I said before, life happens. Have a great day and enjoy your family – Family always comes first.

  6. Happy Birthday. You sound like an extremely mature 37 year old. Bless you for being able to look at things through Gods eyes and timing. You have nailed a lot of things right on the head. Stick with it and be flexible enough to let God guide you daily.

  7. Happy birthday, Angela! I love your post – it sounds like you are embracing 37 well and will have a blast! Comic-con is more my scene, too, although I do love Downton Abbey and still don’t quite get Dr. Who (much to my niece’s chagrin!) Will you be at Quilt Con East? Would love to meet up with you if you are!

  8. Look forward to 50. By then you can just enjoy a friendship and not worry about your needs because you won’t have so many and you will be tired of keeping track of such things!

  9. How did you get to be so wise at only 37 Angela? What you had to say in this post was beautiful and deep and meaningful. I hope to apply some of it to my life, especially the part about friendships. I hope this next 37 years is full of more beauty and adventure and comfort and love than you ever imagined would be possible!

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