Today I’ve reached a new number. I have now lived 37 years. To some of you that means I’m just a baby…to others, I know…you can’t imagine how you will get to be that age. But to me, THIS is 37.
37 means being married to a wonderful man for nearly 14 years. I’m slowly creeping up on spending more of my life with him than without him. It means that at this point we can support each other pretty darn well (or we can freely say when we are not supporting well, lol). But we are still both growing as people and our needs change. So there is still much to do and we may struggle a bit to keep the fun going amidst the crazy yet constant life.
37 means I have a beautiful daughter who is my miracle and always will be. She is fiercely independent and strong. And SO quick to love with the sweetest heart. I have so many more hugs a day than I ever expected. I know they say to enjoy them while they are little…but I just enjoy her all the more as she grows, a grand 6 1/2 herself now, and I get to learn who SHE is. I delight in her. She definitely takes the energy of two parents to raise her, but I know she is going to be a person worth knowing…she already is.
37 means still struggling with health issues and even learning you have new ones. It means daily pain, diet changes, ridiculously painful treatments, and the never ending hope that it will all help you sleep well one night. lol It means being surprised when a new medical challenge pops up but a determination that you can do something about it. After all…you’re only 37 right?
37 means hitting new highs in a career that seems to have its own mysterious path that you try to bravely follow. Fear is there but you won’t let it stop you from trying anything that you feel drawn to. Insecurity will no longer stop me, but it still gives a good mental shake. I look forward to losing that insecurity…I hear it comes with age! So there are fabric lines, thread lines, patterns, websites, industry events, sponsored opportunities, teaching and traveling…all available if I choose to pursue them…but there is all that health and family (see above) that come first.
37 means (and how did He come so far down the list?) that I am confident in my relationship with God. I could talk with Him more. But I do that daily and for other people a lot. I think we need a long conversation though. I crave that now and I’m not concerned with who knows it. He is the only reason I’ve made it through all the things that have happened in my life to date, the good and bad. But I’m confident that I will have all of eternity to spend with Him and He is ever patient with me.
37 means that I’m getting closer to 40. And someone better throw me a BIG party when I turn 40! That is the number that is so interesting to me. There is something magical about that number I know. I look forward to finding out what I’ve figured out by then and what I am still struggling with. What I will have accomplished and who my strongest friends are.
37 means finally understanding that friendships are flexible. And I will probably always be the person who needs the friendship more. I only have energy for so many and I’m realizing that it’s okay if those friends are my friends for THAT time. That it would be silly to suggest that many people could understand and support me through all the peaks and valleys of my life. Maybe one or two people can. But others appear in special moments. And rather than regretting if those friendships fade away as circumstances change, that I should be grateful for who they were to me when I needed them. And hopefully who I was to THEM when they needed me. It makes me more willing to embrace meeting new people if I don’t expect them to be everything to me. But I do miss those school days when there were new friends around every corner. Those corners are a little harder to find…but the friends seem wiser now too.
37 means I’ve traveled enough to know that I like to travel a certain way…and by that I mean that I’ll take a hotel over a sleeping bag any day. But I still crave the beauty of nature. So I need to make sure we start planning those epic outings to places like the Grand Canyon so I can finally see all that our country has to offer. It also means that I accept that I’m not a great world traveler…or if I do, then I’m okay being the one in a tasteful tourist group. My sense of adventure is there, but limited. And I’m okay with saying that I have no desire to climb Mount Everest or go back packing through Europe or planning it all myself and seeing how I survive in native wherever. I’m too picky an eater to survive people!
37 means that I am growing more confident in my likes and dislikes of books, movies and tv. It’s okay if I don’t like certain actors, certain authors, certain genres. I am never going to love history the way that other people do. And I secretly would love to go comic con someday because that is more my scene I think. Give me sci fi and fantasy any day over a historical drama. lol Sorry Downton Abbey… it will always be Dr Who.
37 means that life is well on its way but there is plenty still on the horizon. I am vulnerable but I am also a survivor.