Sometimes there are moments when you decide to be vulnerable.
And this is one of them.
I’ve decided to share a dream that I have with you all. It’s scary for me to share because I’ve kept it close to my heart for so long. But I realized that I was holding it close, practically squeezing the life out of it, because I was afraid.
Afraid that I will fail.
Afraid that people will laugh at me behind my back for thinking I could even try.
Afraid that people will kindly pat me on the head, say good luck, and not really mean any of it.
Afraid that I will succeed.
Can you guess what my dream is? To design. To design fabric or stationary or puzzles or stonewear or push pins or anything! I’ve been teaching myself Illustrator since November (with a long hiatus in the spring when I needed to get some major sewing done) and then reteaching myself it this summer. It’s a HUGE program that can do infinitely more than I know how to do with it. I’ve been taking a couple online classes and then just TRYING.
I don’t consider myself an artist. That’s a touchy word for me actually. But I do see myself as a Designer. I’m comfortable with that word. One of my degrees is in Interior Design. I’ve written a book and designed NUMEROUS quilts, bags and projects over the years. I live color.
This just feels like the next step for me.
And that is exciting and scary. Exciting because it might happen and then all new challenges arise. Scary mainly because it very well might NOT happen. I’m prepared for that.
But nothing comes from being too afraid to try. Too afraid to take the risk. Too afraid to look like a fool. Too afraid to fail.
And so I’m inviting you into my dream. To maybe share that same dream. Or even just see how hard it can be for some of us to take a leap into the unknown. But I’m hopeful that sharing this with you all will give me support. Hands to hold on to me if I fall. Hands to help lift me up. Hands to pull me to the next height. Hands to clap and Hands to surround in hugs.
Will you be those hands?